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Value Proposition – Training
Hi Will,
Could you please take a look at my initial attempts at writing the value proposition for our School Management Software?
“Sentral helps Victoria educators provide the best education for every child in their care by developing intuitive centralised web-based software that revolutionises student management.”
“Sentral helps Victoria educators provide the best education for every child in their care by developing a web-based suite of modules with a single comprehensive interface for the management, tracking, and reporting of data for school administration, online learning, and student management.”
Best,
Adam
Good work Adam.
“Sentral helps Victoria educators provide the best education for every child in their care by developing intuitive centralised web-based software that revolutionises student management.”
I’d look to simplify this and remove all the buzzwords –
We help educators in Victoria provide the best education for every child with a intuitive web-based student management tool.
There is also some scope to add a layer of “what is in it for me” for the Principles themselves. Sure, they want their students to do well, but how does that help them personally?
“Sentral helps Victoria educators provide the best education for every child in their care by developing a web-based suite of modules with a single comprehensive interface for the management, tracking, and reporting of data for school administration, online learning, and student management.”
Same feedback on this one. Needs simplifying and perhaps a layer of “why should I give a shit” adding.
“Sentral helps Principles in Victoria provide the best education possible with a web-based tool for the management, tracking, and reporting of school data and student management.”
I agree with Will about the buzzwords and, I add, tone down or eliminate the hyperbole: “best education” and “revolutionizes student management.” Without quantification, claims like these may not be believable.
Next, define “Victoria educators” – pre-school, primary, secondary teachers?
Next, will your software truly help “every child in their care” or a certain group of children, such as under achievers, learning-impaired, over achievers, etc.?
Next, what is “The Big Problem” your target audience has that your software solves?
What is poor student management costing the school districts?
How does your “single comprehensive interface for the management, tracking, and reporting of data for school administration, online learning, and student management” save money or make life easier for users?
Without knowing much about your software, here’s my suggested rewrite:
“Sentral helps Victoria educators reduce student management costs by a minimum of 15% and streamlines online learning for GPA improvement of 21% or more, at a surprisingly affordable cost.”
Specificity and quantification are the keys. Good luck!
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