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Revised Cold Email. Review.
First Email:
Subject Line:Data Leaks<br aria-hidden=”true” />Hi {{first_name}},Connecting because your email has popped up in our database of recent Data Leaks
Having just worked with the Irish Government to resolve this, we might be able to help.Would it make sense to if we jumped on a quick call and I’ll explain the vulnerabilityThanks,{{sender_first_name}}Second Email: Potential VulnerabilitiesHi {{first_name}},50% of similar Irish Companies have suffered a Data Breach in the last year.1 in 5 Irish Companies have fallen victim to an external attack.You might have your IT security all wrapped up but would it make sense if I can explain the potential vulnerability?Thanks,ShaneThird Email
Subject Line: Some alarming statistics for you {{first_name}}Hey {{first_name}},Most of the potential vulnerabilities we scan for can be avoided if the IT professional understands the threat.Unfortunately sometimes it’s too late!What is the value of knowing the threat and then applying what you have learned as opposed to the cost of something happening?Do you think it makes sense to know more about the email addresses that were leaked in your organization?Regards{{sender_first_name}}Fourth Email:Subject Email: Have you heard of our CEO?Hi {{first_name}},Our mission here at 4Securitas is to give you the best advice for your organization.That is why our CEO Stefan Uygur who regularly consults with the Irish and Italian Government also provides the best expert advice to protect Ireland and Europe from Cyber attacks.I’ve linked his profile here for you to check it out:If it works better for you would you like to meet him and discuss your strategy?Regards{{sender_first_name}}Fifth Email:Subject Line: How we perform the assessments{{first_name}},Do you want to know why CRA is different than all other competitors?Its because of its simplicity to use.We only add two bits of information and immediately CRA will automatically scan your entire digital assets.Like the information I shared on the first email, we collect very important information that tells a lot about your IT Security.Would it be smart for us to have a call and tell you more how we do the scan?Regards{{sender_first_name}}Sixth Email:Subject Email: Think like the Enemy doesThe data breach you suffered in July 2023 from the MOVEIT hack could have been avoided if you know how the enemy thinks.That’s how our CEO Stefan Uygur would view it and how he educates the likes of Irish Businesses and Organizations like yourselves.Would you like to know how the enemy thinks {{first_name}}?What he looks for when trying to intrude and gather information.Do you want to see how they exploit weaknesses?ShaneSeventh Email:Subject Email: Penn testing vs Cyber Risk AssessmentHi {{first_name}},I’m sure Aon Insurance has at some point performed an onsite physical penetration testing.But those are usually once off tests.The difference we have is it can be tested anytime which is what you want, right?What happens though after you have done your Penn Test?You probably assume you are protected right?Wrong!Does it make sense to jump on a call and we can explain the difference?RegardsEighth Email:Subject Email: Are you prepared for DORA?{{first_name}},Have you everything implemented for AON Insurance to be compliant with the Digital Operational Resilience Act(DORA)Do you have Cyber Insurance?All of this will be required very soon.Think of DORA like the Heath and Safety Regulations we have in Ireland.Would it be smart to have a call and we can tell you more about it?RegardsShaneHi Shane,
These are loads better than what you’ve shown me previously. Here are some notes:
- “Connecting because your email has popped up in our database of recent Data Leaks”. Add a layer of timeliness to statements like these – “your email has just popped up…”
- “Would it make sense to if we jumped on a quick call and I’ll explain the vulnerability” you missed a “?” here and there are grammatical errors in other emails. Double check everything.
- “50% of similar Irish Companies have suffered a Data Breach in the last year.” this is very much an intro to a marketing email. Marketing email is generic and goes out to lots of people. To make it a sales email, get specific “50% of companies in your industry…”.
- “Our mission here at 4Securitas is to give you the best advice for your organization.” nobody cares about your mission. They only care about having their problems solved.
I think you’ve got some great ideas here. They just need a little polishing and reframing to give the buyer a reason to connect with you immediately.
Some rewrites below.
Email 1:
Subject: Urgent – Data leak at [company]
Hi NAME,
Your email has just been flagged in our database of severe level data leaks:
IMAGE (make it smaller/thinner than in your example)
We just worked with the Irish Gov who were exposed in the same leak.
They narrowly missed a number of consequences.
Would it make sense to jump on a quick call and I can explain the vulnerability?
Thanks,
Email 2:
Subject: NAME – All sorted?
Hi NAME,
I emailed RE a severe level data leak at [company].
You’re not a lone. 1 in 5 Irish companies have been attacked in a similar way this year.
You might have your IT security all wrapped up but would it make sense to jump on a quick call just to sanity check this recent breach?
Thanks,
Email 3:
Subject: Our CEO
Hi NAME,
Stefan Uygur (CEO 4Securitas) is currently consulting with the Irish and Italian Governments.
Here’s his LinkedIn profile –
LINK
Would there be value connecting with him on a quick call here?
Thanks,
On emails 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 you pivot away from the data leak thread.
I think you should have 4-5 emails on that thread and then a break up email –
Hi NAME,
It seems like the recent data leak at [company] isn’t a priority.
Have I got the wrong end of the stick or is there someone else I should be connecting with?
Thanks,
That then finishes that line of emails. We can then leave it a few days and then restart with another series of emails around another singular thread.
The DORA angle seems interesting if that is something that has to be considered by your ICP.
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