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  • #9516490
    Review of ‘follow up email’
    Jono Earles
    Participant
    Jan 30, 2024

    Hey Will – keen to get your thoughts on this one. I’ve been working on shortening our proposals. As you know they had way too much stuff. Yesterday I developed the email on the link below. I shared it with a potential client post the discovery call/visit. Next step is to take them through the detail and close. 2nd meeting booked in. I still think its too long . But a step in the right direction. Thoughts?

     

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XTq-HwUjlVofyDjpspMYkshK6w07xNKJexajTWjxDCw/edit?usp=sharing

    #9516491
    Will Barron
    Keymaster
    Feb 1, 2024
    Will Barron Feb 1, 2024

    Are you literally sending them this document? Then way too long.

    There’s lots of “fluff” in there. Sometimes the best way to get rid of that is to use bullet points rather than paragraphs as it forces you to be concise.

    When you’re working on the proposal, ask yourself “what does the prospect actually need documenting to get this over the line”. Delete anything else.

    I’ve cleaned it up a little here but you can still kill much more text –

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/17O5RZneeKro4TLbw0NDykFfStcRfliuQ23YT01GO5Ds/edit?usp=sharing

     

    #9516501
    Jono Earles
    Participant
    Feb 1, 2024
    Jono Earles Feb 1, 2024

    Cheers Will appreciate the time and effort on this one.

    I was sending the above as a ‘follow up’ email. Really to cover off the key things I discussed in the meeting

    My current sales process – is:

    • 1st meeting  – discovery + discuss potential solution
    • Follow up with summary email (as above)
    • 2nd meeting  – re cap benefits of solution , Q&A, close

    Based on your training / book – I’m working on changing the above process. Perhaps best discussed at the next coaching session?

    #9516503
    Will Barron
    Keymaster
    Feb 1, 2024
    Will Barron Feb 1, 2024

    Based on your training / book – I’m working on changing the above process. Perhaps best discussed at the next coaching session?

    Sure :).

    My current sales process

    I would be sending a follow up with deliverables rather than a summary of the call.

    The diagnosis call is a step in the process of getting the prospect to agree to work with you. Once they agree that this is likely a good fit at the end of the diagnosis call, you don’t need to reiterate the process that you took to get the agreement.

    Hope that makes sense.

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