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  • #9516259
    Review of cold outreach email
    Jono Earles
    Participant
    Nov 30, 2023

    Hi – I’d really appreciate a review of this cold outreach email – the email will be sent to small to medium business owners. The purpose is to get a meeting to assess wether they are a fit for our digital marketing products. The plan is to send and follow up with a call . I’m also keen to send an adapted version to ‘close lost’ and existing clients.

    Any feedback, much appreciated.

    Cheers

    Jono

     

    Subj line – Get marketing match fit for 2024

     

    Hi (name)

     

    I speak with a dozen businesses across the Bay of Plenty every week. When it comes to marketing business owners  are telling me:

     

    • I wanted to do more in 2023, but haven’t had the time
    • It’s definitely on the list for 2024
    • I’m frustrated with current efforts as not seeing enough ROI

     

    Do any of these ring true for you?

     

    If so I’m offering up a free solution to ensure you hit the ground running in 2024. I’ll review your marketing efforts to date and highlight:

     

    • What’s going well
    • What could be better
    • What to focus on for 2024

     

    This offering is typically only offered to our clients but I do have a limited number of openings for businesses that we haven’t worked with. These quick-fire ‘digital health checks’ are without cost (to you) and a 100% no obligation.

     

    1. Yes please – but let’s catch up in January, so I can make the most of 2024
    2. Yes please – let’s catch up before Christmas 
    3. No thanks – I’ve done outstandingly well this year, just need to rinse and repeat in 2024

     

    Just reply with a 1,2 or 3 and I’ll sort the rest.

     

    Let me help you get ahead of the competition by getting you match fit for 2024.

     

    Cheers

    Jono

     

    #9516271
    Janak Ramul
    Participant
    Nov 30, 2023
    Janak Ramul Nov 30, 2023

    Its not a direct response to your qn, Jono. My request is to know if you find cold emailing working? Does your domain get banned or flagged aka do emails even go through?

    #9516272
    Jono Earles
    Participant
    Nov 30, 2023
    Jono Earles Nov 30, 2023

    Hey – I only send 3 – 10 at a time . They seem to go through fine. I rarely get any traction from them , unless I follow up with a call. Cheers

    #9516273
    Janak Ramul
    Participant
    Nov 30, 2023
    Janak Ramul Nov 30, 2023

    Got it, so multi pronged followup. Your proof reads good, only feedback is it looks the many emails I get from SEO folks. Its not personalised nor referencing pain point but this might not be important in your market.

    What % traction do you get after that call?

    #9516274
    Jono Earles
    Participant
    Nov 30, 2023
    Jono Earles Nov 30, 2023

    Cheers – all really valid points. There’s certainly no shortage of SEO people doing cold outreach.

    Unsure of conversion rate – a work on in itself.

    If I guessing I’d say 1 in 25?

     

     

     

    #9516292
    Will Barron
    Keymaster
    Dec 4, 2023
    Will Barron Dec 4, 2023

    Hey Jono, I’ve moved this over to Asset Review rather than the public community.

    Here’s some feedback –

    Subj line – Get marketing match fit for 2024

    They don’t care if they’re a “fit”. They only care about themselves. Pitch a result or a problem that needs solving in the subject line.

    Hi (name)

    I speak with a dozen businesses across the Bay of Plenty every week. When it comes to marketing business owners  are telling me:

    • I wanted to do more in 2023, but haven’t had the time
    • It’s definitely on the list for 2024
    • I’m frustrated with current efforts as not seeing enough ROI

    Do any of these ring true for you?

    If so I’m offering up a free solution to ensure you hit the ground running in 2024. I’ll review your marketing efforts to date and highlight:

    • What’s going well
    • What could be better
    • What to focus on for 2024

    This offering is typically only offered to our clients but I do have a limited number of openings for businesses that we haven’t worked with. These quick-fire ‘digital health checks’ are without cost (to you) and a 100% no obligation.

    1. Yes please – but let’s catch up in January, so I can make the most of 2024
    2. Yes please – let’s catch up before Christmas
    3. No thanks – I’ve done outstandingly well this year, just need to rinse and repeat in 2024

    Just reply with a 1,2 or 3 and I’ll sort the rest.

    Let me help you get ahead of the competition by getting you match fit for 2024.

    Cheers

    Jono

    • Wayyyyyyy too long. Take a look at the structure of from the cold email workshop.
    • “I speak with…”. Make the emails about them, not you.
    • Personalize the first line if at all possible.
    • Be specific with your hypothesis of their problem rather than giving three options and three potential solutions. You can use each option in a separate email but keep each email specific.
    • I hate this 1, 2, 3 call to action. If you’re getting results  from this then keep going. If not then drop that shit.
    • Fundamentally I’d be slightly cautious of offering a marketing review when you offer a specific service. It seems like a great way to book lots of unqualified calls.

    I’d be using something more like this –

    Hi NAME,

    I spoke with the owner of [X company in similar space to prospect] this week.

    They said that they didn’t have the time to implement their marketing goals this year.

    I learned a couple of things though that might be useful for [prospects company].

    Would it make sense to jump on a quick call, I’ll take a look at your current marketing process and also explain what’s currently working in [X industry]?

    Thanks,

     

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