[Eshan Sharma]

New Cadence Email Review

Eshan Sharma

Participant

Feb 15, 2024

Hi Will,

Please see below the emails for the new cadence. As discussed, this cadence will be targeting student accommodations/ university’s for the summer cleaning of their rooms.

 

Subject: [NAME], let down?

Hi [NAME],

[PERSONALISATION]

Last year we began working with Edinburgh University after their cleaning contractor let them down.

They dropped out at the last minute leaving them no options for their summer accommodation cleans.

We stepped in and covered their cleaning and housekeeping, ensuring that the dorms were ready for the students coming back.

Does it make sense to have a quick call to see if this is something we can help you with?

Many thanks,
Arnav Sharma

Subject: [NAME], under-resourced?

Hi [NAME],

Is your in-house cleaning team enough to cover the summer cleans before the term restarts?

Last year, we worked with Queen Margaret University and combined our directly employed labour force with their in-house team to meet the tight deadlines to get the rooms turned around.

Working together, all of the rooms were cleaned in time for the next term starting.

Does it make sense to have a quick call to see if we can help?

Many thanks,
Arnav Sharma

Subject: [NAME], headache?

Hi [NAME],

Are you worried about all of the work required to turn your rooms around before the new students arrive?

When we carry out these cleans, we use our directly employed labour force and site manager who ensure that all the rooms are complete to a high standard.

This takes some of the workload off your plate because you know it is being properly managed.

Does it make sense to have a quick call to see if we can help?

Many thanks,
Arnav Sharma

Subject: Holiday cleans covered?

Hi [NAME],

Do you have a solution in place for this year’s summer cleans and housekeeping?

We are able to cover both services with our directly employed labour force and provide a dedicated onsite project manager to ensure that the works are completed within the restricted timeframe.

Does it make sense to have a quick call to discuss this?

Many thanks,
Arnav Sharma

Subject: chaotic?

Hi [NAME],

From working with [JOB TITLE]s in Edinburgh University, we know that the summer holidays can be a busy time for student accommodations. Between students moving out, new students coming in, repairs and renovations, and the deep cleaning/ housekeeping… this period can be quite overwhelming.

We have been able to help Edinburgh University for multiple years by handling their deep cleaning and housekeeping requirements. We have an experienced site manager who ensures that the work is done to a high standard to make sure that the new students have the best first experience.

Would it make sense to have a quick call to see if we can help?

Many thanks,
Arnav Sharma

 

All feedback would be much appreciated.

Look forward to hearing from you.

 

[Will Barron]

Will Barron

Keymaster

Feb 19, 2024

Will Barron Feb 19, 2024

Hey Arnav. Feedback coming for this tomorrow morning.

[Will Barron]

Will Barron

Keymaster

Feb 20, 2024

Will Barron Feb 20, 2024

Email 1:

I think you’ve done a good job here. The only thing I’d improve is the CTA at the end.

Give them a reason to get back to you –

“Would it make sense for me to explain how to test the reliability of your current provider?”

 

Email 2:

I’m not sure the first line works. How about this –

“Could your in-house cleaning team benefit from a little support?”

Also, do you have a quote/testimonial from QM University? That would add a lot of credability to your message here.

 

Email 3:

Looks good.

 

Email 4:

This is very similar to the previous email. I’d try and create something new and different here.

It can be as simple as changing the formatting –

“NAME – Do you have this summers halls clean sorted? Might be able to help.

Our dedicated onsite project manager makes sure everything is completed. Make sense to see if this is a good fit?”

 

Email 5:

I’d break up the paragraphs so that each sentence is on it’s own line.

Similar to above, do you have a quote from Edinburgh Uni?

Also, can you share the person who brought you in? If they’re the same job role as the person you’re reaching out to it will add more credibility.

 

Overall, these are decent. I feel like they could be slightly more personalised but they should get responses.

Final thought, I’d include a “break-up” email here. Something along the lines of –

Hi NAME,

Looks like you’ve got your end of year cleaning sorted.

Is that the case?

Thanks,

[Author]

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