• Author
    Posts
  • #9517462
    First Cold Email
    Philip Ayazi
    Participant
    Apr 29, 2024

    Hi just created my first cold email. I would appreciate any feedback/critique.

    Subject Line: [Name] – Effective Lab Operation

    Hi [Name],

    Congratulation on the longevity at [company].

    As you know, working in the lab can be impactful but overwhelming when instruments are down and results are delayed. We help labs operate more effectively by offering equipment that is robust and reliable to allow you to focus on the things that matter.

    Mind if I send you some info?

    Best Regards,

    Philip Ayazi

    #9517490
    Will Barron
    Keymaster
    May 2, 2024
    Will Barron May 2, 2024

    Congratulation on the longevity at [company].

    That’s not the greatest personalization. It’s pretty generic and makes it look like you haven’t made an effort.

    Personalization can be tough. It’s a balance between the information we have and the amount of time it would take to really dig deep and wow the prospect.

    You can probably do a bit better than this example though.

    As you know, working in the lab can be impactful but overwhelming when instruments are down and results are delayed. We help labs operate more effectively by offering equipment that is robust and reliable to allow you to focus on the things that matter.

    I think you can simplify this and leave a little info out to build more curiosity –

    Working in a lab can become overwhelming when instruments are down and results delayed.

    I might be able to dramatically reduce your down time and allow you to focus on what matters.

    Mind if I send you some info?

    At the top of the cadence ask for the meeting.

    Imagine you send this to someone who is up to their neck in stress because of all kinds of reliability issues. They don’t want “info” they want a call with someone who can help.

    Would it make sense to jump on a quick call and I’ll explain how it works?

    #9517493
    Philip Ayazi
    Participant
    May 2, 2024
    Philip Ayazi May 2, 2024

    Hey Will. Thanks for the critique. I will modify accordingly.

  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.