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Feedback on cold email
(FYI – the original message is in another language than english so unfortunately subtle trigger words and phrasing may be lost in translation)
Hi NAME,
It’s high pressure right now! Many IT teams struggle to hard to find enough time.
How do you experience this today at COMPANY?With a sharp automation strategy, you can regain control of your time and at the same time eliminate errors caused by the human factor.
We have helped enterprises, operators and manufacturers to achieve this in 2021.Would it be interesting to have a short chat to see if what we do can help you at COMPANY as well?
I’m thinking of inserting a sentence that points the prospect to an article on our website on the topic. Something like this:
“I thought you would be interested to read our article on how to succeed in achieving a cost-effective IT-infrastructure”
Questions:
1. Should this line go in my first outreach (this one) or in a follow-up outreach?
2. If in this one, where in your opinion does it belong? I have my ideas but would be happy to learn what you thinkHey Niklas,
I appreciate that you’re translating your messaging here and so what I’m reading might not be exactly how it sounds to your customers. But I’ll give you some feedback –
This line sounds spammy –
It’s high pressure right now! Many IT teams struggle to hard to find enough time.
Are your buyers under pressure? Maybe they’re fantastic at their job and assuming they suck will annoy them.
Maybe something like –
“I’ve just got off the phone with BUYER at SIMILAR COMPANY. They said that things are high pressure right now because of –
– SPECIFIC THING
– SPECIFIC THING
– SPECIFIC THINGAre you facing any of these pressures right now?
We’ve solved them for SIMILAR COMPANY with our automation tools.
Would it be of value to jump on a free consulting call to see if I can share how we solved these issues? ”
I’m thinking of inserting a sentence that points the prospect to an article on our website on the topic. Something like this:
“I thought you would be interested to read our article on how to succeed in achieving a cost-effective IT-infrastructure”
Try and keep to one call to action for each email.
Perhaps start with the value giving content email and then follow up with the more direct one a couple of days later.
Then you can start your follow up with “Hey NAME, I hope you enjoyed the article…”
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