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eCommerce Value Proposition
Hi guys,
As some of you might know I am trying to find a niche to sell in and therefore am writing a bunch of value propositions.
Does any have some pointers for the one below?“Hi NAME,
After working with +30 eCommerce brands I found a common problem that many forget to focus on their store when “business is booming’”.
The hierarchy. A website with bad hierarchy is like a room with 10 doors – you don’t know where to find what you are looking for.
That’s why I help eCommerce brands build websites with deliberate hierarchy and placement of elements that guide visitors into buying more products, faster.
With that being said, does it make sense to jump on a quick call to hear if I can help your business?
Best,
Frederik”Here’s another one!
“Hi NAME,
After helping +30 eCommerce businesses I noticed a common problem. Visitors leave straight away if they aren’t engaged or intrigued by the website’s content. This is of course bad for business.
I help eCommerce businesses by improving their website’s conversion rate. This is done by analyzing the ideal buyer, researching their buying behaviour and building a design around it. Then they’ll be more likely to engage with the site.
Does make sense to jump on a quick call to hear if I can help increase your company’s conversion rate?
Best,
Frederik”Here we go!
Hi NAME,
After working with +30 eCommerce brands I found a common problem that many forget to focus on their store when “business is booming’”.
The hierarchy. A website with bad hierarchy is like a room with 10 doors – you don’t know where to find what you are looking for.
That’s why I help eCommerce brands build websites with deliberate hierarchy and placement of elements that guide visitors into buying more products, faster.
With that being said, does it make sense to jump on a quick call to hear if I can help your business?
The first line doesn’t correlate to the second. What does a booming business have to do with website hierarchy?
It would be better to do something like “I see a major issue on your ecomm store. The hierarchy.”
That would drag them into the rest of the email.
Also I don’t know what you’re pitching or selling here. Website hierarchy planning? Web development?
No offence but this email isn’t very good.
Hi NAME,
After helping +30 eCommerce businesses I noticed a common problem. Visitors leave straight away if they aren’t engaged or intrigued by the website’s content. This is of course bad for business.
I help eCommerce businesses by improving their website’s conversion rate. This is done by analyzing the ideal buyer, researching their buying behaviour and building a design around it. Then they’ll be more likely to engage with the site.
Does make sense to jump on a quick call to hear if I can help increase your company’s conversion rate?
This email has the same problems. No customisation in the first line. An easy win would be “I work with your competitor {{company name}} and their visitors are not sticking around.”
Again, I don’t really see the value that you are offering here.
I like super sharp emails like this one here.
“Hi {{name}},
I don’t know who your dev is but you should fire them.
Your stores hierachy is broken.
##image##
You’re losing sales every minute this email sits in your inbox.
Does it make sense to meet on a very short Zoom call where I’ll explain how to fix this?
Kindest regards”
Hey Jimmy,
Thanks for some great feedback!
I like the mail you’ve proposed. It’s more direct, personalized and gives a sense of urgency.
What are your thoughts on telling business owners that their current solution is shite? Do you think some people get turned off by this (maybe if they’re the ones who set it up)?
Best,
FrederikThat’s a SHARP email from Jimmy. Did you try it out Frederik?
Really sharp, indeed!
It worked like a charm. A response rate of nearly 6% by just sending this first email – no video, no follow up.
A funny thing I noticed though, is that it is only men who have replied, even though i sent mails to 50/50 males and females.
Have you experimented with different wording/messaging for males vs. females?
If it works, it works.
Don’t complicated things with wording for different sexes. It gets all very tricky (and political) very quick.
Is that 6% response rate from a decent number of emails being sent or just a handful?
Hahah see what you mean.
The 6% response rate is from 54 emails. I booked 2 meetings out of the 3 that replied. The last prospect wanted some client references which I’ve sent him.
I’ll probably send 200 mails using this copy to see how the response rate holds up.
Also, I am following up with videos to these 54 individuals which hopefully will generate some more responses.
Hahah see what you mean.
The 6% response rate is from 54 emails. I booked 2 meetings out of the 3 that replied. The last prospect wanted some client references which I’ve sent him.
I’ll probably send 200 mails using this copy to see how the response rate holds up.
Also, I am following up with videos to these 54 individuals which hopefully will generate some more responses.
Do you still have the same reply rate? If so, I’m going to try a more aggressive email like your example too!
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