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Cold Emails
Hi Will,
Here is the emails I came up with. Thanks for your coaching earlier today.
Brian
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lwttTRTOcOgx2SfOjV1UapvEIbiGOk-cHY2f1ppmLwY/edit?usp=sharing
I made a copy of your doc and added some notes for you (highlighted) here –
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ynJOse-RP0Pxd1mroz2wQzNcm8RuttxEXzSjeJCyoj0/edit?usp=sharing
Some notes –
- I think you’ve done a decent job here but the emails seem a little generic. Is there a little more special sauce that only your organization has that we can sprinkle on top?
- Double check grammar etc. I’m terrible at that stuff, so if I can find issues it’s worth running through an additional spellcheck before sending out.
- Simplify everything. Every extra word you use increases the chance of the message getting lost in translation.
- Be more specific in the person you’re placing/value being delivered/what the prospect is going to get out of working with you.
Hope that helps!
I just took a quick peak at Wills feedback Brian. I used to be in recruiting and the founders you’re trying to connect with get loads of generic recruiter emails every week.
You need an “angle” of sorts to break through the noise. I think Will has said as much in his feedback above.
Here is my new email #1-
Not so sure about the subject line:
Subject Line: Hire fast? Hire wisely?
Hi Julian,
Recommerce- I am all in. Thanks for being someone who’s life work is about changing the world. Inspiring.
We help tech start-up founders hire the right software/data engineers, data scientists and other critical roles on their teams.
We recently helped our client fix their issues with engineering and wisely use their seed funding.
We found them the outstanding end-to-end data engineer they needed fast.
With her precise technical skills crucial to the role, she quickly developed a new software that handled the the challenges in their engineering. Market Fit became possible rapidly.
Now at Series A, engineering is no longer slowing them down, in fact it’s breathing life into their growth.
Would it make sense to jump on a quick call and see if I can do the same for you?
Cheers!
BrianThanks Jacky, much appreciated. working on it.
Here is the email I am going to send:
I sent it to myself and it read well on my phone and in my desktop..
Ok we will see how it goes……
Subject: Hire wisely?
Hi Julian,
Recommerce- I am all in. Thanks for being someone who is about making a big difference.
We help tech start-up founders place the right software/data engineers, data scientists, and other critical roles on their teams.
We recently helped our client fix their issues with engineering while wisely using their seed funding.
We found them the outstanding end-to-end data engineer they needed – fast.
With her precise technical skills crucial to the role, she quickly designed a new software for their needs and fixed the bigger problem my client wasn’t even aware of!
Engineering is not something they are “making due” with anymore, in fact it’s breathing life into their growth.
Would it make sense to jump on a quick call and see if I can help you?
Cheers!
Brian
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