• Author
    Posts
  • #8010845
    Cadence.v1_ Cold-Email.v1
    Abhijeet Sarkar
    Participant
    Mar 14, 2023

    Hey @Will, looking for your feedback on this first draft of the cold outreach email:

    Hey ____,

    As {{COMPANY}}’s CFO, in the last 2-3 months did you ever feel like you didn’t have the resources you need for your role? Do you feel stymied by disconnected IT systems, difficulty reporting across multiple departments or entities, talent shortages and personnel risk?

    I’m asking because we’ve helped CFOs who felt this way in the first two years of their role after leaving large companies with lots of resources. Since you worked at _____, _____ and _____ before {{COMPANY}} I thought this might resonate.

    At TypeSift, we work with CFOs and lean finance teams to transform their business by:

    • Bringing data from multiple departments and entities together for reporting, analytics and FP&A
    • Implementing automation to make your small team more productive (no more disconnected Excel spreadsheets)
    • Eliminating personnel risk by moving business rules, calculations and formulas into the cloud (again, out of Excel)

    Out of respect for your time and mine, can you reply with a YES or NO if you’ve felt any of these pains in the past 2-3 months? If Yes I’ll follow up with some content on how we actually solve this.

    Thank you!
    —Ab

    #8010859
    Will Barron
    Keymaster
    Mar 15, 2023
    Will Barron Mar 15, 2023

    Hey Abhijeet,

    Few pointers for you –

    – It’s way too long
    – No real personalisation in the first line
    – Try to ask one question and then solve it rather than asking many. Leaves the reader confused.
    – Company names aren’t the best personalisation. Can be automated/scraped easily.
    – Use one benefit per email (bullet points)
    – CTA sucks. Keep it really simple.
    – CTA in the first few emails should be to book a meeting to discuss.

    Here’s a quick rewrite –


    Hi [NAME],

    Slightly belated, but congrats on the new role at [COMPANY]. It looks like you’re really innovating with [THING].

    When you got started in the role, did you inherit a bunch of disconnected IT systems?

    We help CFOs eliminate personal risk by pulling their data into the cloud (and out of Excel).

    Would it make sense to jump on a quick call to see if I can help?

    Thanks,

    Ab

    #8010860
    Abhijeet Sarkar
    Participant
    Mar 15, 2023
    Abhijeet Sarkar Mar 15, 2023

    OK awesome thanks. What are your thoughts on a follow-up email? I get a lot of “Hey bumping this up your inbox” type emails from salespeople trying to prospect me…

    #8010866
    Will Barron
    Keymaster
    Mar 15, 2023
    Will Barron Mar 15, 2023

    OK awesome thanks. What are your thoughts on a follow-up email? I get a lot of “Hey bumping this up your inbox” type emails from salespeople trying to prospect me…

    I hate them. But data wise, they are effective.

    They make you look like a pesky salesperson though. You’re not that, you’re an founder who can potentially add a lot of value on a quick call.

    I’d personally rather deliver a solid second email than fall back on pestering people.

  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.