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Better cover letter for Job hunting
Since being made redundant I’m getting some conversations happening via my network and convos with recruiters, but I’ve been knocked back on anything where I’ve applied through Linkedin.
I figure either my cover letters suck. And or my CV does. I’ll start with a couple of cover letters I’ve used. The latter one I haven’t actually been knocked back on yet. But Zendesk I got the token automated no thank you from a no reply email address. Here are the 2 I’ve done so far. Feedback welcome; (I’ve taken out the personal info etc, so ignore formatting etc.)
Cover Letter 1
29th March 2024
Re. Enterprise Account Executive Role – MelbourneDear Zendesk Hiring Team,
Unfortunately myself and the Trustpilot new business team were made redundant last week as they move towards a more focussed approach on the Asia market, and only retained Mandarin speaking members of the team.
I was delighted to see an opportunity as an Enterprise AE at Zendesk come up so quickly, a company I’m very familiar with, as customer feedback and support plays a big part in the SAAS services I’ve been selling for the last few years.
My role at Trustpilot has given me experience selling across an Enterprise segment in New Zealand, as well as an SMB segment in Australia. So I’m able to bring the more patient and refined Enterprise approach, coupled with a persistence and drive from the SMB space.
Key highlights have been booking meetings via cold outreach with the likes of Air New Zealand, New Zealand Post and Tower Insurance. The latter a deal I closed after I initially made a cold call to the CEO.
Other highlights include;
-Continually over achieving targets. Most recently hitting Q1 2024 target by 29 February.
-Finishing Q1 as the top ACV performer in Australia and New Zealand.
-Adopting prospecting methods so effective I was mentoring SDR’s.After changing roles more than I’d have ideally liked after leaving ratemyagent after 4 years, I’d hoped to have found a long term home at Trustpilot, but sadly this was taken out of my hands.
I’m pleased to see that two of my ex colleagues from realestateview have been working with Zendesk for 4+ years, which I think says a lot about the positives for this being a role with longevity. Something I’m keen on establishing.
Let me know if it makes sense to continue chatting over a call?
Kind Regards, Stuart
Cover Letter 2
7th April 2024
Re. Manager – Outbound Sales Development – APACDear Remote Hiring Team,
I help AE’s and SDR’s book more meetings through teaching short concise outreach, with a high open rate and high reply rate.
This is coupled with an effective cold outreach technique over the phone.
I still actively prospect myself, and in the last 12 months successfully booked meetings with Air New Zealand, New Zealand Post and Tower Insurance (the latter of which I recently closed, and the process started with a cold call to the CEO).
My methods are effective at both SMB and Enterprise level.
Would it make sense to jump on a call to discuss if we are a good fit for each other?
Kind Regards, Stuart
Some thoughts –
- Nobody cares (I do…) about your boo-hoo redundancy story. Remove that.
- First line should be your value prop to the company. Then hitting the targets. Nothing else realllllly matters.
I thought I was going to have more feedback but that’s basically it.
FYI your cover letter and CV get ripped apart with a bunch of SaaS and then delivered in a simple email to the hiring manager alongside a shitload of other candidates.
They then click a tick/cross to whittle down the candidates from 50+ to 5ish before they even start to look at your work history etc.
Absolutely the first thing they should be seeing is a list of clear successes. That’ll all you should really need to get interviews.
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