I made a copy of your doc and mate some notes (highlighted and down the side) here –
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10Lr2wj5zyYBub13VCJt3k_rLjfT24bE1lk53ZlGlAAg/edit?usp=sharing
Take a look at the suggestions for the value proposition. That’s the most important thing I think you should update if possible.
Then run through the suggestions on the cadence and apply them to the second cadence in the doc. Once you’ve made those updates, send it over and I’ll take a look.
