Good work Adam.
“Sentral helps Victoria educators provide the best education for every child in their care by developing intuitive centralised web-based software that revolutionises student management.”
I’d look to simplify this and remove all the buzzwords –
We help educators in Victoria provide the best education for every child with a intuitive web-based student management tool.
There is also some scope to add a layer of “what is in it for me” for the Principles themselves. Sure, they want their students to do well, but how does that help them personally?
“Sentral helps Victoria educators provide the best education for every child in their care by developing a web-based suite of modules with a single comprehensive interface for the management, tracking, and reporting of data for school administration, online learning, and student management.”
Same feedback on this one. Needs simplifying and perhaps a layer of “why should I give a shit” adding.
“Sentral helps Principles in Victoria provide the best education possible with a web-based tool for the management, tracking, and reporting of school data and student management.”
