Rewrite this one with the insights from the previous two emails and I’ll take a look at it.
You’ve got the “system” nailed with these. You now just need to make them a little more human.
I’d also mention (as I did in email 2) that you’re selling a software tool. Being more specific doesn’t necessarily close the curiosity loop, it can make it more powerful as it pains a little more of a clearer picture on how you might be able to help.