Hey Raymond. You spotted the main issue which is that it’s pretty lengthy.
The goal of the value prop isn’t to explain the exact ins and outs of everything we do. It should be just enough so that if you said it to a prospect they’d go “sounds interesting, tell me more…”.
Some notes –
- “Best quality” is subjective and everyone says it. So it’s not very useful in a value prop.
- Do your buyers (distributors) know what a MAP policy is? If so you don’t need to explain it. If not, then you need to use plain English instead.
- You mention customers and technicians but this value proposition is for parts managers. Focus on their needs specifically.
- What is the competitor pricing issue? Can you be more specific?
Something more like –
Our jacks, leveling and stabilization products help Parts Mangers increase their sales and margins using simple MAP policies. Unlike our competitors with short warranties and on-going pricing fluctuations.