Hey Layne, you’re on the right tracks!
Here are a couple of thoughts –
- Try and make the emails as short as possible. Anything that doesn’t need to be there should be removed.
- Don’t share too much. You want to build curiosity so that there’s a reason to book a call.
- You’ve added a light layer of personalisation (which is great). Is there a deeper level you can add?
- The call to action should be a question (end in an ?) rather than a semi question/statement.
- Sometimes being a little softer comes across as less “salesly” and so converts better (see email 2 below).
Here’s how I’d perhaps rewrite them –
I see you are offering [SPECIFIC TYPE] Botox.
[DR NAME] offered this service but wanted to increase revenue whilst reducing their time in the office.
After discussing our platform – the use for therapeutics with TMD and Facial Aesthetics and delegation to assistants – they made got started.
With the right technology and coaching, their practice grew significantly.
Would it make sense to jump on a quick call to see if we can help your practice grow, too?
I noticed you attended [SPECIFIC CONFERENCE].
Are you looking for the next step in growing your Dental Spa?
I might be able to share how to improve revenue, whilst remaining off site, with Open House assistance via a new service.
If I’m straight with whether we can help (or not) would it make sense to jump on a quick call?