Will Barron
May 30, 2023
Will Barron May 30, 2023

As Jimmy said the email is way too long.

Remember, the goal of cold outreach is to book a meeting, not explain the service.

Drop the formal “by way of introduction”.

Shorter paragraphs too. It’s technically poor grammar but add more white-space and break them up. We’re copy-writing not book writing.

Hi [NAME],

I imagine you’re focused on Al/ML given the strong executive attendance at Chris Howard’s presentation

I recently co-lead the partnership between [COMPANY] and Gartner.

Our clients are focused on generative Al and ChatGPT as a means boosting capabilities while mitigating risk.

Does it make sense to jump on a quick call for me to share how we’re helping IT leaders safely implement these tools in their departments?

Best, Travis

Use the “James’ comments in his recent CIO.com article.” for a follow up email.

That example is still a little wordy. It could also be a little more them focused. Why should they want to jump on a call with you to discuss this? Lead with that.