May 30, 2023
As Jimmy said the email is way too long.
Remember, the goal of cold outreach is to book a meeting, not explain the service.
Drop the formal “by way of introduction”.
Shorter paragraphs too. It’s technically poor grammar but add more white-space and break them up. We’re copy-writing not book writing.
Hi [NAME],
I imagine you’re focused on Al/ML given the strong executive attendance at Chris Howard’s presentation
I recently co-lead the partnership between [COMPANY] and Gartner.
Our clients are focused on generative Al and ChatGPT as a means boosting capabilities while mitigating risk.
Does it make sense to jump on a quick call for me to share how we’re helping IT leaders safely implement these tools in their departments?
Best, Travis
Use the “James’ comments in his recent CIO.com article.” for a follow up email.
That example is still a little wordy. It could also be a little more them focused. Why should they want to jump on a call with you to discuss this? Lead with that.
