Would like to get some feedback on mine as well:
Our – business intelligence product
helps – CFOs
who want to – become trusted partners to the board & CEO
by – bringing your company’s data together at your fingertips
and – eliminating hundreds of hours wasted in Excel
unlike – traditional visualization tools which only focus on dashboarding
Hey Abhijeet, drop this in a new thread so it doesn’t get buried.
Some quick thoughts –
– Is there a visual way to describe “bringing company’s data together” to juxtapose competitors dashboards? For example I don’t say we do “effective training” I talk about our “proven selling frameworks”.
– Would the CFO benefit from the time saved in Excel or would it be one of his minions doing that work?
– Can you narrow down CFO’s? Company size, vertical, tech/non-tech etc
– Can you go a layer deeper than “become trusted partners”. Why would they want to do that?