Will Barron
Jul 6, 2022
Will Barron Jul 6, 2022

Hey Jimi,

Lets break it down mate –

“Hey Contact: First name,”

This should be Hi NAME right?

“Are you optimising your ad spend?”

This doesn’t grab attention. Try something like –

Are your competitors optimising better and driving up your ad spend?

“P.ai audiences outperform Facebook and CRM-based lookalikes. Simply connect your first-party data and we will do the rest.”

I wouldn’t assume your prospects know what “p.ai” is. Maybe –

Our AI audiences out perform Facebook and CRM pixel lookalike audiences. One connection to us and we do the rest.

“We have improved ad ROI across Fashion, Travel, Beauty, Delivery services and more* (HATE THIS! What do I do if the prospect has nothing to do with any of our clients?)”

There is no customisation so far to the prospect. It kinda looks like a generic marketing email. I’d use this line to really customize.

“Does it make sense to jump on a quick all to see if you can leverage your first-party data too? “

Ask yourself, do they care?

Does it make sense to jump on a quiick call to see if we can outperform your current audiences and make your advertising efforts shine?